Stupid Is…

…as stupid does.

Every 4th of July someone does something less than intelligent (I dislike using the word stupid a lot, but it just keeps coming up) with fireworks and loses a hand or an arm or worse.

I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the firework type known as mortar rounds, but they have a cylindrical launch tube maybe two inches across and they stand perhaps 16 – 18 inches high. The mortar is a bulbous little grenade looking thing that has a long fuse. You drop this round into the tube, leaving the long fuse hanging out the top. You then light it, and run like hell!

A moment later there is a large foomp! The round exits the tube with an enormous force you can feel, it accelerates high in the sky and explodes with a colorful display. I love these things, and if I’m buying fireworks, I always get some mortars. But…

I have never tried to light one off of the top of my head:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/police-man-shoots-off-firework-top-head-dies-32231780

It killed him instantly. Like I said, these rounds exit the tube with an tremendous force, you can feel this force from many feet away. I can only imagine, but it must have been like getting hit sharply in the head with a 5 lb. hammer when it went off. I certainly feel for the friends and family, but damn! Darwin Award.

Please use your fireworks safely. I would like to still be able to buy them next year. Okay?

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20 thoughts on “Stupid Is…

  1. I sent a small nuke up over Lake Michigan and blew the fucker up on the 4th. I was smart though. I made sure I wasn’t hurt by it, and, as far as I know, no one was actually blown up by the explosion. However, there have been a few reports of radiation poisoning and such from around the Lake Michigan area since I did this. This reminds me of a quote I love.
    “The fun I had blowing shit up out weighs any harm I may have caused.” George W. Bush on the Iraq invasion, circa 2003. Some things George said are so true, they make my willy hard. 😀 BANG!!!! And God Bless America!!!

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  2. I suspect you have a link in the wrong place. It is unrelated to the post.
    The fellow gets a Darwin Award, he gets added to 1001 ways to die and I send the friends and family messages of condolence.

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  3. Lol! Got caught with my pants down. Thanks for pointing that out Mak. Link fixed.

    The link I had posted was about the time zone difference between us, I had intended to paste that link to a conversation we were having in your comments.

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  4. Man, I wish I had a small nuke! Where I would want to use it is awfully close t home though. My neighbors are complete idjits. I guess I’ll have to wait till they die from stoopid.

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  5. There is a show called 1000 ways to die. We used to watch it here and there, and it confirms what I always tell my kids. Have some situational awareness. You never know when one seemingly benign incident finds a way to kill you. Things are bad enough out there, don’t die from doing something silly.

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  6. I thought so. No problem mate

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  7. But at least dying from a silly thing gets you a mention on Darwin awards. I have heard of this fellow who was dispatched by an alligator in Texas

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  8. Ya gotta love nukes. They do the job, man. They do the job. 😉

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  9. Like voting for a Republican in any election. Sure way to ensure our own destruction if we do that. 😀

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  10. Hopefully it was Jeb Bush.

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  11. That is one thing I will never do again within my lifetime. Years ago when I was a tad prosperous I bought into the R schtick. Mine eyes have opened. I cannot believe what they have become today, and what they represent. Disgusting.

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  12. That’s a hopeful sentiment. I may have gone with Ken Ham! Or Boehner (I may have spelled that incorrectly, but refuse to look it up.) You know who I’m talking about 🙂

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  13. They do the job allright, but you don’t want to be living next door!

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  14. Neither do I. I want to die quietly and anonymously

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  15. I, too, used to think, “How different can they be?” Very, as I’ve discovered over the years.

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  16. No. My neighbors are VERY upset with me right now. Oh, well, live and learn. Live and learn.

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  17. I have got to do a write up on my experiences with my neighbors. I swear it would make more sense if it were all a lie…

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  18. Can’t wait to read it.

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  19. Well dammit, now I have to start writing it…

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