Is It National Elect A Pervert Day?

Only time will tell. The people of Alabama will soon show their stripes.

Praise the lard! Let some backlash of sanity envelop us all! Let us drive the ebil from our midst! Let the people see the error of the Republican parties ways! Let them vote as sane and rational people and not puppets of Faux News and the lying orange haired evil one!

Too much to ask for eh?

But on a positive note I’m halfway to becoming a hellfire and brimstone preaching preacher, I just have to get this whole believing in an invisible friend thing straightened out.

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14 thoughts on “Is It National Elect A Pervert Day?

  1. There’s no money in hellfire anymore. Go with prosperity gospel. Mr Osteen was telling his followers that if they’re not wealthy yet, they’re not ready yet to receive god’s blessings and told them “give me 4 years of your total dedication to the lord and when you come out the other side you’ll be ready to receive “. He got these dumbasses to commit their wallets to him 4 years! Hello? Start your own business, educate yourself, develop a skill? That’s how it really works, and it takes about that long to achieve those goals. Duh

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  2. I’ve a sad feeling Moore will win in a landslide, but I sincerely hope I’m wrong.

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  3. Based on your brief sermon, I think you’d make a GREAT preacher. You just need to remember the part about letting the lard BLESS you when the collection plate comes around.

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    • Halleluja! Give till it hurts! The more you give now the greater your rewards in the afterlife. The lard loves us all!

      😉

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      • I hereby dub you the Grand Hellfire & Brimstone & Money-Grabbin’ Preacher of the Holy Roller, Tongue-Talkin’, Dancin’ in the Aisles Church of the Lard. Bless you, brother. May you meet all your cohorts in the Great Beyond. Amen and Amen. (and Awomen too)

        P.S. Please send $$$ for your preachin’ license asap.

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      • Damn that is one hell of a title! How much did it cost me…?

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      • Well, bein’ as I’m not a preacher myself, I’ll just ask for 25% of your collection plate for the next 30 years. Payable weekly, of course.

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      • Ill let you know when I get rolling. Praise the lard! There will be so much $$ coming in I won’t miss the 25%. Halleluja!

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    • Believe this or not. Ripleys even. One of my dads wives (there were a few), went through a lot of geneology on my family background. My heritage has a lot of high level Mennonite preachers in it! So it’s in my genes to be a preacher lol.

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  4. Praise be to Thor! Jones won! A Democrat won in ALA-FUCKIN’-BAMA! 2018 elections can’t come soon enough.

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