I Don’t Know…

What do you guys and gals think? I am a capable lead guitar player in the classic rock and southern rock genre, I spotted this ad in my local Craigslist:

Looking for lead guitar player 

Established Contemporary Christian / Christian Rock band looking for a lead guitar player. We are a group of characters that have the common goal of spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ through music. We do outreach events, youth rallies, community and church events.

Qualifications:
1) Have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
2) Committed in your spiritual walk.
3) Be free of addiction
4) Regularly attend church
5) Possess a servant’s heart
6) Possess musical skill to recognize pitch, tone, balance and dynamic variance.
7) Be able to blend your musical gift with the rest of the band.
8) Music proficiency does not automatically make you a good candidate for the band.
9) Your conduct should be above reproach and never give the appearance of evil.

If interested please submit the following information:

Name:
Age:
Experience:
Email:
Phone:   end quote/

I’m pretty sure I am not going to meet their requirements… Number 3 and numbers 6/7 maybe (unless you count coffee and my pain meds an addiction), but the rest is just not happening. I honestly am having trouble believing anyone can meet these standards. Especially x-ians!
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18 thoughts on “I Don’t Know…

  1. Go for it but tell them you are in it for fun. Mention also you are addicted to coffee. Loathe fundamentalists like Ham

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  2. So basically they want a half-assed guitar-playing zealot. 🙂

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  3. But, I’m not sure fun is compatible with all of those requirements 🙂

    Besides I couldn’t stand to be in their company for more than 3 minutes without throwing up.

    And I am a EVIL coffee addict!

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  4. Maybe you can change the direction of the choir from bs to some great tunes

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  5. Heh, yeah I am leaning towards full assed zealot 🙂

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  6. Hey one crucifixion is enough in 2000 + years! I’d be next on the list after suggesting AC/DC’s Highway To Hell 😉

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  7. Haha. It will be their loss

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  8. I’d see if they wanted me, but I’m addicted to Jesus so I doubt it. 🙂

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  9. Apply, for a giggle.

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  10. #2, #5, and #9 — Who makes the judgment? And #3 — what kind of addiction are we talking about here? I mean, the individual could be “addicted” to Jesus, right?

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  11. Oh yeah, you are out you addicted bible thumper you. 😉

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  12. Exactly. Who the hell does make those calls? And what kind of sick S. O. B. Would?

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  13. Oh man, you’d have sooooo much material for this blog! That alone would tempt me…but in the long run I’d probably go insane.

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  14. Tempting, but I think I’d rather pick up rattlesnakes.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I don’t think it would take that long actually lol 🙂

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  16. Requirement # 10: Be able to convincingly fake all but item’s # 6 and 7 above.

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  17. You know as much as the believers do dive into their determination to believe, I get the feeling most of it is a put on. A show.

    And if you aren’t good enough at putting on the show there is something wrong with you…

    Liked by 1 person

  18. An All Saints Band, eh?

    They should recruit from among Norwegian bachelors. “So you know they’re not only good for you, they’re pure, mostly.”

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