Numb

I know I have mentioned that my wife has taken care of a sweet little girl for the last couple of years. (Home health care setting) She unexpectedly passed away a couple days back, my wife on duty. It is simply tragic. While I know this little girl mostly through the eyes of my wife, I am tore up right now. I can’t even comprehend how the family is taking this.

My wife worked her case when she was an infant, no one really knew yet if anyone was even home at that time, she being non verbal, frail, and living on a ventilator 24/7. But when the wife got another chance to work the case, (nurses get shuffled around,) by this time it was indeed known that not only was somebody home, she was very smart. She learned to sign by 3 years old, and understood both Spanish and English by 4. She was uncannily bright and mature for her age and carried a great sense of humor beyond her years. My wife referred to her as a little Steven Hawking, she was that intelligent. She was only recently starting to vocalize a few words and had begun going to school. A frail little girl stuck in a wheelchair, on a vent, multiple heart surgeries, and nary a sign that she felt disabled in any way, a true fighter with a personality one can only hope to find a few times during the course of our lives.

She had to have heart surgery not too long ago, and had a case of pneumonia of recent. The last couple of weeks her heart rate was fluctuating wildly and her sats (oxygen levels) were up and down as well.Β  The family threw her in the van at least 3 times and travelled the 2 1/2 hour ride to the best H in the state, Vanderbilt, in that time. No one could really identify what the issue was and she was sent home on each occaision. Looking back now, I as a mere bystander can only surmise that her little heart was was trying to tell us that it was failing.

A life ended far too soon, a little girl I wanted to know and see grow up, she touched every single person who knew her. Every life is special, every child of innocence a treasure. This child was a blazing sun among a sea of ordinary stars, and none can fill the void she has left behind. My wife and I mourn for the family, and the life of a little girl who indeed touched us all.

A blog, can be a window. I do hope that peering into this one today, gives you some appreciation for making the most of what you have got. Tomorrow is no guarantee…

 

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17 thoughts on “Numb

  1. OH, shell digger. How very sad. I feel terrible for her family and yours. I think the only thing one can take away from such tragedy is that you (through your wife’s experience) got to appreciate a young, useful life. As always when we lose someone who has just begun it makes us appreciate our own abundant gifts. You’re absolutely right; we all need to make the most of what we’ve got. πŸ™‚
    Again, so sorry to read.

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  2. Hey Carmen πŸ™‚ Thank you. And of course you are right, I am glad I got to know her. I will take a little piece of her with me wherever I go.

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  3. Ouch. Shell…

    I am… beyond words really. My chest hurts and is heavy for this little girl and her family. You and your wife are perfectly right and perfectly human to mourn deeply and be equally grateful for what time you shared with her.

    My heartfelt sorrow and condolences to you both — and the family.

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  4. No words.

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  5. It’s always hard to know what to say. Sorry for your loss Shell, and all the best to your family and theirs.

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  6. Words be difficult things to get a handle on at times like these. I got through the post driven by emotion and backed up with a box of tissues.

    Thanks John.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I know Jim. Indeed times like these all words seem to fail to live up to the significance of the situation.

    Thanks Jim.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Look at it this way, Shell. You were privileged she crossed your path and helped you appreciate life a bit more deeply. IOW, don’t grieve. Be thankful for her.

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  9. A beautiful and grand tribute. I am glad your wife has good memories of the girl she can share. Be well. Hugs

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  10. You do the little girl justice with this beautiful tribute

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Greatness deserves beautiful tributes.

    We go to the visitation this evening. No use even trying to steel myself for this, it will be taxing on us all. I try to avoid things like this as much as possible, while I can be a gruff old ornery bastard, deep down Im a sentimental SoB. And no eyes will be dry there I can assure the world of that.

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  12. “. . . deep down Im a sentimental SoB” And this is supposed to be a revelation? πŸ˜‰

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  13. Is it that obvious? lol πŸ˜‰

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  14. I am Nan, but it’s tough to tell your emotions to stop. I really am grateful to have known her and her family, and to have been introduced to the Mexican culture that has heretofore gone on all around me without my knowing of its existence. Fine people, with an honest to gosh culture I envy.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Thank you Scottie πŸ™‚

    Hugs back at ya.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Let her travel well.

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