Please, don’t feed the machine

What machine? The Stupid machine. You know, the one where everywhere you look its an ad for a supposed trick, or a testosterone treatment that makes grandpa look like a ripped weight lifter, or some strange gadget that the power companies hate, or watch this video before its banned crap. Or maybe UFO’s, giving Bigfoot an anal probe while the president is snorting cocaine…look here for what may be the scariest web site ever  A guy I know actually referred me to this place to support whatever it was he was buying into that day. I haven’t had a good nights sleep since.

If the internet is ridiculous, so has become cable TV. We have Ancient Aliens, absolute buffoonery, where  every single awesome achievement of man, had alien intervention. We have ghost detectives ranging from east coast white guys to down south hillbillies. We have reality show after reality show, all apparently vying to become the lowest common denominator in absurdity. We have RWCRFM productions pretending to be news. We have competitions ranging from nerdy nerds doing nerdy stuff, to manly men traversing Alaska. We have dancing and singing competitions that need your input to vote the advancement of your favorites. For crying out loud one of the most popular shows right now is about a bunch of goofy goofs that make duck calls. Where does it all stop?

The one thing every one of these shows, or internet scams require, is YOU. Well, maybe not you, but somebody like you, to tune in or click their way to cuckoo land. The only way these purveyors of ignorance continue to exist is by someone, or lots of someones participating in or with what they are selling. And what they are selling is a path to fantasy land where rules of science, common sense, and truth, are foregone for a moments worth of somehow pleasing abandonment of reason. Which after repeated exposure, could  result in permanent dislocation of the ability to even think for oneself. Assuming that malady isn’t already an inherent condition…

I make a conscious effort to avoid these shows, that I call “speculation TV” or “reality shows”   Even if I’m watching a decent show and a stupid commercial comes on, Ill mute, or change the channel. I do my best not to travel to hysterical conspiracy theory internet sites, I also do my level best to instill into my kids the ability to reason, and think critically. I’m teaching them to separate the wheat from the chaff. How to see the B.S. for what it is, and to point and laugh appropriately. And most importantly of all, not to participate in an activity that has the capacity to lower your IQ by 50 points.

Now, all of that said, I do like Pawn Stars, and Swamp people. Both reality TV, both obviously using arranged situations, but at least one  can learn a few things from Pawn Stars (besides the fact that the shows stars can be total jerks), and Swamp People is just too similar to a line of work I’ve been in for over 30 years. No I haven’t been killing gators, but I have been out on the river/lakes enduring the weather, the wind, and risking my butt to make a living. So, lets call them my reality show vices. I guess its ok for everyone to indulge in some escapism, but damn at the sheer volume of the available ways to do it, yet there are some lines that I wont cross. (Fox News/Ancient Aliens/and X-ian Mingle commercials)

Ok, end rant…yeah, I know its crazy to condemn the situation and still subscribe to some of it. I guess how deep you dive in can be called the ‘dipstick’ gauge. I come up 2 reality shows deep. Which is 3 shows short of a full crankcase. There is room for many puns here…

One thought on “Please, don’t feed the machine

  1. You know, after sitting through another episode of Swamp People, I just don’t think I am going to be a fan anymore. It seems that in all cable TV these days, the real life aspects just aren’t good enough, and some manufactured drama has to be injected. Manufactured drama, either they are getting worse at disguising it, or I am getting better at spotting it, either way, I just cannot tolerate it anymore. Sorry Swamp People, I wish you luck… For the record Pawn Stars is getting to be nearly as bad, I have resorted to watching baseball lately, not because I enjoy the sport, but because it is the only thing on TV that is fucking real. Real people, doing real stuff, with real consequences, and real outcomes. If there is any drama, say a bench clearing brawl, it is spontaneous, and not scripted in by some producer because conflict is somehow correlated with viewership. There is a real world out there somewhere, it is calling me….


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