…as stupid does.
Every 4th of July someone does something less than intelligent (I dislike using the word stupid a lot, but it just keeps coming up) with fireworks and loses a hand or an arm or worse.
I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the firework type known as mortar rounds, but they have a cylindrical launch tube maybe two inches across and they stand perhaps 16 – 18 inches high. The mortar is a bulbous little grenade looking thing that has a long fuse. You drop this round into the tube, leaving the long fuse hanging out the top. You then light it, and run like hell!
A moment later there is a large foomp! The round exits the tube with an enormous force you can feel, it accelerates high in the sky and explodes with a colorful display. I love these things, and if I’m buying fireworks, I always get some mortars. But…
I have never tried to light one off of the top of my head:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/police-man-shoots-off-firework-top-head-dies-32231780
It killed him instantly. Like I said, these rounds exit the tube with an tremendous force, you can feel this force from many feet away. I can only imagine, but it must have been like getting hit sharply in the head with a 5 lb. hammer when it went off. I certainly feel for the friends and family, but damn! Darwin Award.
Please use your fireworks safely. I would like to still be able to buy them next year. Okay?
Evidence Based Reality 
I sent a small nuke up over Lake Michigan and blew the fucker up on the 4th. I was smart though. I made sure I wasn’t hurt by it, and, as far as I know, no one was actually blown up by the explosion. However, there have been a few reports of radiation poisoning and such from around the Lake Michigan area since I did this. This reminds me of a quote I love.
“The fun I had blowing shit up out weighs any harm I may have caused.” George W. Bush on the Iraq invasion, circa 2003. Some things George said are so true, they make my willy hard. 😀 BANG!!!! And God Bless America!!!
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Man, I wish I had a small nuke! Where I would want to use it is awfully close t home though. My neighbors are complete idjits. I guess I’ll have to wait till they die from stoopid.
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Ya gotta love nukes. They do the job, man. They do the job. 😉
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They do the job allright, but you don’t want to be living next door!
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No. My neighbors are VERY upset with me right now. Oh, well, live and learn. Live and learn.
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I have got to do a write up on my experiences with my neighbors. I swear it would make more sense if it were all a lie…
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Can’t wait to read it.
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Well dammit, now I have to start writing it…
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I suspect you have a link in the wrong place. It is unrelated to the post.
The fellow gets a Darwin Award, he gets added to 1001 ways to die and I send the friends and family messages of condolence.
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Lol! Got caught with my pants down. Thanks for pointing that out Mak. Link fixed.
The link I had posted was about the time zone difference between us, I had intended to paste that link to a conversation we were having in your comments.
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I thought so. No problem mate
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There is a show called 1000 ways to die. We used to watch it here and there, and it confirms what I always tell my kids. Have some situational awareness. You never know when one seemingly benign incident finds a way to kill you. Things are bad enough out there, don’t die from doing something silly.
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But at least dying from a silly thing gets you a mention on Darwin awards. I have heard of this fellow who was dispatched by an alligator in Texas
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Heh, I just read this morning that a large poached gator had partial remains of the guy in its stomach contents.
http://home.myhughesnet.com/news/read/category/US/article/the_associated_press-poached_alligator_identified_as_southeast_texas_ma-ap
I’d rather die anonymously I think. I have no hopes or dreams of aquiring a Darwin Award.
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Hopefully it was Jeb Bush.
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That’s a hopeful sentiment. I may have gone with Ken Ham! Or Boehner (I may have spelled that incorrectly, but refuse to look it up.) You know who I’m talking about 🙂
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Neither do I. I want to die quietly and anonymously
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Like voting for a Republican in any election. Sure way to ensure our own destruction if we do that. 😀
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That is one thing I will never do again within my lifetime. Years ago when I was a tad prosperous I bought into the R schtick. Mine eyes have opened. I cannot believe what they have become today, and what they represent. Disgusting.
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I, too, used to think, “How different can they be?” Very, as I’ve discovered over the years.
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